Nonviolent Communication

Over the years, through therapy and friends, the book Nonviolent Communication has come up a lot. I finally got myself a copy and put it on top of my reading list for the month.

There were many wonderful examples and concrete tips in the book, not only showcasing how to use the NVC framework ourselves but also how to apply it when listening to others. These techniques magically elicit healthy, respectful dialogue.

While reading, I noticed I need much more practice. I'm excited to read the book again soon. I liked it so much, I recommended it to a random person on Linkedin who was asking for dating advice.

An underlying theme of the book is mindfulness. Forcing ourselves to carefully phrase our speech in the simple NVC framework (observations, feelings, needs, requests) enables detachment from our default unevolved operating patterns.

When we examine what we truly wish to accomplish—then communicate accordingly, and avoid potentially triggering phrases we might inadvertently spew—our clear positive intent generates goodwill in whomever we are conversing with.

I love these conversation jiu-jitsu tricks. They remind me of the training we built for Lean On Me. Our cornerstone was Libby Mahaffy's hurricane concept. Here's a short video of her explaining how we can empathetically focus on people, as opposed to their problems:

Life is busy: coffee, work, repeat. We're often so quick on the trigger. We solve one problem after another. Sometimes it pays to pause. As the Navy SEALs say, "slow is smooth, smooth is fast."

Using NVC in our daily communications may require extra work at first. But once we embrace this practice, we become much more effective. We'll get our points across and simultaneously, our loved ones will feel heard.

In small daily habits and little phrases, we can save an abundance of time and energy. Moreover, we'll end up creating a whole new beautiful life for ourselves as well as those around us. Seen properly, the half-empty glass suddenly becomes full of light.

Unfold a smiling path to more of what matters: kindness, joy, love, and play.